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Shawnda Age: About Next ex-girlfriend contest Application to be my future ex-girlfriend You have been invited to compete to win the prestigious title of my next "Ex-girlfriend". Rules for entry are simple: 1. Must be a first-time applicant.

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You are not eligible to compete if you have ly entered the contest regardless of the outcome. If you have ly won my "Ex-girlfriend" contest, give me back my Tool CD you psycho! Applicants are not entirely restricted by age, however a reasonable range in years should be adhered to. Average looks are perfectly acceptable. High maintenance issues to include botox, liposuction, any host of psychological issues necessitating a battery of happy pills, and a need for gastric bypass is highly frowned upon. Poor dental health is an immediate disqualifier.

Applicants must have a job. McJobs are allowable if you are a suffering artist, musician, writer, or the next dalai lama waiting to be discovered. Criminal background due to white-collar crime is not an automatic disqualifier. Psychological background including but not limited to schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, panic attacks, dementia, attention deficit, hypochondria, oedipus complex, and unresolved childhood issues are automatic disqualifiers.

Additional benefit packages may include the "marraige of convenience" bonus. This benefit includes the "shacking up in sin" option and may, or may not, include the option of flying off to Vegas to be married by an Elvis impersonator. You will also be entitled to have beer, wine, cocktails at various bars and drive both of our drunk asses home. As a winner, you will be able to accompany me on a wide array of random weekend trips to undetermined locations around the northwest. Final perk of the coveted title is the bragging rights you'll earn of dating a rugged outdoorsy guy with a twisted sense of humor.

Dating me will make you look hip, avant-garde, stylish, and a bit rebel-ish without really pissing off your friends and family. The contest is open Married housewives wants real sex Morton for an undetermined amount of time until position is filled. Rules and regulations may change anytime at my sole discretion. Friends and families of "Ex-girlfriend" winners are not eligible to enter the contest. I want a girl with an insatiable desire for adventure I want a girl who will blow an inordinate amount of money to see a really awesome Housewives wants real sex Morton, just like I would, cause Tool totally fuckin rocks and it ya can't brag about seeing a killer show if ya didn't go.

I want a girl who's a little freaky nasty in the bedroom, or wherever else is handy cause there's no point in being in a relationship if sex is a handjob to crappy porn. I Married housewives wants real sex Morton a girl who understands that I never intend to spend k on a house that is essentially 50k in raw materials.

I want a girl who is ok with the fact that I don't feel like I've missed anything by not breeding an heir. Sylvia Age: About Need a spanking?. Have you been bad and need a sound spanking? Georgina Age: Marleen Age: That's right precious, maintain an enthusiastic, accepting smile throughout. You may cry silent tears, but don't make any noise or Housewives wants real sex Morton will be consequences.

Attire is often a tool of patriarchy and used to inculcate and enforce male hegemony. Plaything is dressed as one of the archetypes, the French Maid. Implicitly, the costume suggests the role of master or in this case mistress and servant. Does the master like his pretty uniform? Twirl for us, precious. Note how the lace mimics a confection making the maid a morsel to be enjoyed at will by the superior.

See how the crinoline petticoats flair to reveal a peek of panty in front and back. This exposes the subordinate to touching, caressing and pinching, whether invited or not. Also consider how the buckled ankle strap symbolizes a bound and helpless state. This symbolism of restraint is echoed in the lace choker, playing the role of a collar ready for the leash.

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Plaything, please remove the apron, dress and petticoat. No, sweety, leave the maid's cap and lace choker on. You look so yummy. We turn now to the undergarments as expressions of gender hegemony. Begin with the panties which have been pulled on over the garter belt and stockings. This facilitates removal to allow the superior to explore and amuse herself in front - or behind - as she pleases.

And of course, lace takes center stage once more. But it's now time to explore grooming as a tool of gender oppression. Plaything, please remove your panty. Grooming of the oppressed party demonstrates hegemony from head to toe focusing on themes of immaturity and hence lack of control and an invitation to sexual penetration. Immaturity is obvious in the total body waxing.

The smoothness both suggests the helpless state of a young child but also removes the secondary characteristics of Married housewives wants real sex Morton this case erroneous masculinity. Desire for sexual penetration is obvious in the scarlet lipstick which clearly reference the engorged labia of feminine arousal. Lick your lips for the class, precious. Next we come to the fun part, hegemony in sex practices. Themes of maturity and control are reflected in the use of discipline and spanking in sex play.

Please form two lines, one on each Housewives wants real sex Morton of our slaveboy, and take turns spanking his pretty bottom. Feel free as you spank to pinch and explore the smoothness where wax has left him hairless. Well that was fun and the copious tears did remain relatively silent. Here Pet, blow your nose on the pretty hanky you brought. Now I think it's time for Plaything to show us all the role of painted lips in gender stratification sex play.

Plaything, please demonstrate fellatio on this lifelike phallus. Pay attention, girls, he's quite an expert. The receipt of pleasure by being penetrated is a hallmark of what society falsely deems submissive sexuality. In reality we know it's delicious and Plaything couldn't agree more lubing a vibrator with a curved tip before Plaything's wide eyed dismay.

Plaything, please continue your fellatio, face the class and bend well forward at the waist. Make rotating eye contact with each girl in turn. Sigmund Freud posited the superiority of the penetration based vaginal orgasm over the clitoral orgasm audibly turning on the vibrator. Will someone please open this gay porno magazine in a position to capture any lewd emissions that may occur. That's right, Love, maintain eye contact with the girls as well as the creativity and technique of your fellatio despite the slow circles I'm making on your sensitive gland Well, I suppose that was to be expected.

Look at the volume of your yummy discharge.

Denise DENIES Sleeping With Brandi - Season 10 - Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Class, I will conclude by combining two elements of gender oppression: the male appetite for voyeuristic appreciation of female homosexuality and what is vulgarly described as swallowing. Plaything, please slowly and sensuously lick all your delicious semen from the centerfold model so that the Ladies can remember you like this always. Don't swallow until each girl gets a close-up of your well coated tongue and lips. Thank you, Class Ladies, The summer school is starting. Tuition is free. Groups are welcome.

And the curriculum is flexible. Laurel Age: About twenty friends, unite! So here's the thing. I love to smoke. You also love to smoke. You know. I know you know.

Housewives wants real sex Morton

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